


All That Matters

by Trixie_Baggins



Category: The Fall (2006)
Genre: Canonical Divergence, canonical death, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3324920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trixie_Baggins/pseuds/Trixie_Baggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Which is why he had created the hospital.  He wanted to make them better.  He wanted to undo everything that he had done.  The story was real.  The hospital was in his head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That Matters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jennae Rianna](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Jennae+Rianna).



Roy hated himself. No, that's not quite true. He hated his very existence. As he looked back on his life it was one big failure after another. His twin brother was all he had had in this world, and now he was dead. Then he met his friends; that mismatched bunch of people that no one in their right mind would put together. But they had been put together, and they had been there for each other.

Until his stupidity and stubbornness had gotten them killed. It was suicide, they had told him, and he should have listened to them. But he didn't. Instead, he had ignored them and pushed into the city where Odious' men had slaughtered everyone that had cared about him. The only person who was left to love him was his 'daughter'. If she found out what he had done, truly done, then she probably wouldn't love him. 

Her entire life he had told Alexandra that she was his daughter. That her mother had died when she was young. Which was a lie. Her mother was still alive, but she didn't know that Alex was alive. The only true part in that story was that Roy's wife was dead. She had died in childbirth and their only child had been stillborn. He didn't know what to do, so, driven by grief, he had impersonated a doctor, had told Alexandra's mother that her child had died and meanwhile carried the poor woman's living and breathing daughter away. 

The Lady Evelyn. She was definitely something. Roy might have even gotten to a place where he loved her, but she lied to him. And him, the hypocrite of all hypocrites, couldn't stand the fact that she lied to him. He tried to kill her, but that failed so, he had thrown her locket over the edge of the balcony and left her standing on it, shocked.

Darwin. The Mystic. Luigi. The Indian. Ota. All of these people were dead. They had placed their trust in Roy; they had given their all to his quest, and he had failed them. He had left them to die. And for what? For nothing, really. There were still horrible people in this world; horrible people who did horrible things. 

Which is why he had created the hospital. He wanted to make them better. He wanted to undo everything that he had done. The story was real. The hospital was in his head.

But why, you may ask, why if he was trying to make them better, why is he in a hospital bed? Why isn't he a doctor, who can do the most good.

Because he can't do good. It's not in his blood. It's not part of who he is. He's in a hospital bed, because he's in mourning. Because he lost his brother; because his entire life is based on a lie. And because he's hurting too, and he desperately wants to get better.

He tried to end his life, repeatedly, but somehow he always failed. The doctors, the real ones- not the ones in his head, told him that Alexandra's love kept him alive. But could that really be true? Could she really love him? Wasn't he unlovable?

I'd love to tell you that Roy beat his demons; that he found healing. I'd love to tell you that he told Alex the truth, that the two of them together tracked down her mother and that mother and daughter had been united and now lived happily together. I would absolutely love to tell you that Darwin and Lugi and the others were alive and breathing. And if I could tell you that Roy remarried and had a family and lived happily ever after to the end of his days it would make my life.

But I can't. Because this isn't a fairy tale. This is a story about real people and real troubles. And in real life, we aren't handed happy endings. We don't get happily ever after. All we get, if we're lucky, is tomorrow and we have to make the best of it. And that is why Roy is alive today. Not because he was a good person, not because he deserved to live, not because his self-control and desire to live drove him to survive, because that's definitely not the case. Roy is alive today because even though he couldn't make the best of yesterday, today and tomorrow, he knew someone who could. Because he loved someone who was the very definition of the word optimist. Because she was strong when he wasn't. Because she loved him when he was too broken to love himself. 

So I can't tell you that this story has a happy ending. I can, however, tell you that this story can have a happy ending. And really, when it comes down to it, that's all that matters.


End file.
